Excuse me sir would you mind moving your crotch from my face?

I think we’ve all been there, you’re on the bus or the subway and it’s packed but you’re lucky enough to snag a seat, and your extra lucky in that you aren’t bothered with trifles like morals, so you’re cool with the preggers woman standing the whole trip. But then with out fail it starts to get packed and some dude decides to stand right in front of you placing his crotchal region millimeters away from your face. WTF? Seriously, seriously? You thought hey I could stand so that I’m not straddling this dude, but I’d much rather give this guy an eye full of nut? And this isn’t a homophobia thing, I don’t want that many vaginas dangling in the wind that close to my face on the bus either. I just can’t fathom it, turn 90 degrees in either direction you are just as strapped in, and I don’t have to worry that I’m a pothole away from being T bagged. If you read this and you are a subway straddler just stop, it's not appetizing for anyone.