2012 London Me vs The World

I admit it, i caught it, I've got the olympic fever and it won't be sated by the closing ceremonies or by watching the luge in two years. No this is something i have to do it burns inside me like a flaming golden hawk. So after careful consideration and immense research into finding out what sport an out of shape 27 year old could pick up and reasonably expect to win gold, just 4 years from now, i've decided to be an Olympic walker. It's alright to laugh, we olympic walkers are use to it. But I'm going to channel all your contempt and your accusations that putting one foot in front of the other isn't a sport and use it to push me harder and faster, but not into a run. This isn't like when i wanted to be our nations forest fire representative but bailed out as soon as i realized Smokey wasn't going down with out a fight. No, i am fully committed to this. I've hired Jasper Jenkins, the name of names amongst walkers the world over, to train me this guys been walking since before he could crawl. I got a key to the local mall so i can walk whenever i want to so my training will never be interrupted. I know a lot of you walk to work, and your probably thinking i walk 20 minutes everyday how hard can this be, well you'd be wrong. While you are mindlessly putting one foot in front of the other I'm already thinking six steps ahead, making sure each step gets me one step closer to my destination, careful to never waste a step. I've got a camel pack full of water, a fanny pack full of protein bars, all that's left is for me to walk hard. See you guys in London I'll be the guy with a gold medal on my neck.